I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There r osticjed everywhere
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
