Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
