I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
