I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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