worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I party with great urgency now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
