Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
