He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
