he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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