somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
