I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
