i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
