"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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