it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
