You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
