Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
