wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
