remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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