He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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