Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
