I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's Friday. Sex?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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