He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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