chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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