Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it's like iHOP with fire
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
