cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That accounts for only three of the penises
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
