so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
