Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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