The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
