I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
