I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
