im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
then he tried to convert me to islam
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
