I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
