Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
