She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
