Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
