you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
