just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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