I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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