Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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