my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
