You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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