just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
