I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
