I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
