I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
