So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
