i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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