The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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