How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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