I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
