By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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