i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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